Things I Dread

1. That moment right before the shot needle plunges in.

2. Splashing cold water on my face first thing in the morning.

3. Confrontation.

4. Surgeries.

5. Getting the kids ready for bed.

6. The boys waking up way earlier than I'm ever ready.

7. The alarm clock.

8. Getting family pics made.

9. Police cruiser lights in my rearview mirror.

10. Taking tests.

11. Shopping for clothes.

12. Going to the DMV.

13. Long lines.

14. Waking Noah. I would rather wake a sleeping momma bear by stepping on her cubs' heads.


15. Saying goodbye to my family when I head back to South Africa in five days.

That last one is the hardest of all.

No Dreaming Here!

It's Christmas Eve and we've had a couple of Christmas miracles.

First, is this...
It was in the mid-70's yesterday. We are now several hours into this falling snow and our temps are in the 20's. Welcome to Texas, y'all.

It's the first time in over 80 years this area has had a white Christmas.

The second miracle of note was that the boys went to bed without any arguing or stalling. Any parent can appreciate what a miracle that truly is. Noah was in bed in exactly 2.8 seconds. And I think he may be giving himself hives over the fact that Brian and I are still awake. We've been tracking Kris Kringle via NORAD and when Noah proclaimed that Santa was on the southern tip of Texas, nothing in us desired to tell him it was actually Argentina and that Santa still had a ways to go. When a kid's actually motivated to get in bed one of 365 days, why fight a good thing? Merry Christmas to me.

This is our first Christmas Eve to spend as just the four of us. Tomorrow, we'll wake up to our own Santa gifts and enjoy a new tradition of spending Christmas morning at home. As part of that tradition, we read the Christmas story at bedtime, stripped of any jolly old men, merry little elves or toys made in China (do kids ever notice that?!). No, this was the original and true Christmas story - simple, signed into Old Testament prophecy, sealed in the form of a little baby and delivered with love. The very best gift ever.

But Noah, in all his panic, didn't think we had time to read AN ENTIRE BOOK. It started off well enough, with Brian asking the boys what Christmas is all about. In the Christmas video at school, Tyler enthusiastically replied, "Opening presents!" while Noah solemnly stated, "Jesus." I suppose Tyler has come a little way since then, as tonight's response was, "Giving presents." And, when Brian asked Noah what happened to Jesus that we celebrate at Christmas, his answer was, "He died on the cross."

Holy cow. Are these the two same kids who are at church twice a week and who attend a Christian preschool?!

Anyway, it about killed Noah that we had to read AN ENTIRE BOOK while Santa was still wishing Feliz Navidad to some kids south of here. So, in protest, this is how he spent our special Christmas story time while Tyler was all ears.

Incidentally, I think my OCD has filtered over into Noah. When most kids leave a note for Santa, they express their undying love and appreciation for the jolly fellow. At the very least, they wish Santa safe travels or remember to thank him for coming by.

But then there are letters like this...

Because when your dad has had to lay the flooring four times due to a stubborn dip in the concrete, I suppose you feel like you have to explain why your sorry parents never got a Christmas tree up under which Santa is supposed to present his yearly offerings.

Indeed, this is the first year we will go without a tree. It's kind of sad, but between my SI joint being out, traveling, our floor and the fact that I head to South Africa on New Year's Day, we decided to go without. The only thing I have out is one little nativity scene, which, really, is the focal point of the season anyway.

And, as the children are nestled all snug in their bed, I suppose Brian and I should relieve Noah of his stress and get our cap and 'kerchief and our long winter's nap on.

We wish you and yours a warm and joyous Christmas. We are so thankful for and humbed by all the blessings God pours over us. Most of all, for the little babe born in a barn because His Daddy loves us so much.

And, Feliz Navidad, Santa. See you soon!

Oh, I Wish I Had An Oscar Mayer Weiner

A few weeks ago, our Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group had a seminary professor as a guest speaker. His talk was about teaching your kiddos about sex. Obviously, our little ones are too young to really grasp the entire concept, but he gave his opinion about what age to start introducing specific topics.

Starting with what to call your private parts.

He is of the opinion that children ought to know proper names for body parts from the start. I am indifferent to that opinion when it comes to someone else's children. I say teach them what you're comfortable with. Yes, it would oog me out to have a three year old walk up to me, replay the scene from Kindergarten Cop and deliver that famous one liner, "Boys have a p---- and girls have a v-----." But, to each his own.

However, for our household, "it" has always been addressed by it's proper scientific name - "weiner." Somehow, as Brian and I considered the vast list of options before us - willy, wee wee, tee tee'r, ding a ling and so on - we settled on "weiner."

And, as for "that," well, we just don't discuss Mommy's "that." I still can't write the word here, but I think I could handle using the proper term for men with the boys. HOWEVER, I GET ALL SQUEEMISH AND WANT TO GIGGLE AND RUN AWAY when I think of using the v word around my boys!!!! I even want to giggle when my gynecologist uses it. She does not think that is funny, though. So, for now, I'm at peace with the boys thinking I bring the fourth weiner to the family set.

At least I was until this professor's talk.

After his talk, I decided I'd like to be all progressive and secure with my privates and use the proper names like the cool, new millennium mommies do. The opportunity was perfectly presented when Tyler followed me into the bathroom one day. As he studied me sitting down, he asked, again, if I have a weiner. This is a topic of conversation, well, nearly everytime I go to the bathroom with an audience.

Don't you just love that precious, precious curiosity.

So, I sucked in my breath and decided this was the big day. We were going to have "the talk."

Not "that" talk, but the three year old version of "the talk."

I decided the best way was to make no big deal out of it and just state the facts. And this is what I gave him...

"Well, Tyler, you know what, girls don't have a, um, (cough), um, a...well, we don't have a...

Weiner."

Failure #1. Attempt #2...

"You know, Tyler, girls have a....(cough), um, mommies have....

Something Else."

Failure #2.

Attempt #1 to save the day and still be a fun, if not cool, progressive, new millennium Mommy with an abundance of maturity...

"Hey! Wanna go watch some cartoons?!"

I know, I know. I'm disappointed in myself, too. I thought I could do it, but, when the moment came, I couldn't make my lips go into those shapes and shove the words out.

But, you know what? That is why God made Blockbuster and why Arnold became an actor. And that is why, when they turn 13, we'll be renting Kindergarten Cop.

So what if I'm stuck in 1990? They made cool moms back then, too.

Clean "Teef!"

Tyler had his first dental appointment and was pretty excited about it.

I think it helped that he remembered the little play area from Noah's appointment.

Ooh, the anticipation. I wish I were this cool and collected in the dentist's chair.

But maybe if they gave me cool sunglasses and Scooby Doo to watch, that might encourage me a little.

Tyler's confused. He thinks, "Let me get this straight, we're paying them this much money and this little mirror is all they can afford? " He wasn't impressed.

He's just hoping they didn't skimp on their stickers.

Notice how rigid Tyler's hand stays in this video. He put on such a brave face, but his body language belied his tension.

My dad remembers a dentist appointment he took me to around middle school. As he waited in the waiting room just outside the exam room, he could see my feet rising off the bed. My feet stayed elevated nearly the entire appointment.

I miss having abdominal excellence like that.

Sigh...

Anyway, Tyler did great on his first vist to the dentist. What a champ! And, no cavities!

Time for stickers! And, yeah, they were awesome.

Twistaaaa

Noah decided to bust out Twister the other night.

Maybe holding your mouth a certain way helps pull off crazy yoga moves.
Daddy decided to get in on the action.

Noah decided playing tackle was more fun.

What do you think of our new flooring? It's still a work in progress, but I'm loving the easy clean-up and lack of stains!!!!

Let's just hope it can hold up to the continued tackling that's sure to happen with three boys in the house.

Homecoming

I have the best brother in the universe.

Maybe you think you do.

But, really, I do.

For someone who's always been my little brother, he's always taken care of me like he's the big brother.

When he lived in the states, we talked nearly everyday.

Now that he's overseas, I miss that greatly. I also miss getting to see him more often. We had the chance to fly up and see him when he had some training in Seattle last April, but he hadn't been home in almost 20 months.

And Texas just isn't the same republic without him.

So, boy, were we ready to welcome him home at Christmas.

Even my parents' dog was in on the excitement about to take place at D/FW airport.

Mom set herself up in a prime spot - right at the glass doors so she could be the first to see him.

There was anticipation all around.

Boy, it takes a lot of time to get through customs.

Enough time to get through some sillies.

Jordan had plenty of time to check out the competition.

But she didn't pee on the airport floor like another dog did, so she was won the cuteness competition paws down.

Finally!!!!!

Scott came home to a red, white and blue out. 'Cause we're patriotic like that.

It didn't take long for the boys to get comfy with Uncle Scott!

HAPPY Christmas, indeed.