A Time to Scatter Stones and a Time to Search

Tonight was one of those nights I hope to always to remember. Sometimes I actually ask God to help me have memory snapshots of moments like these where I can think back years from now and remember just how rich it was when our kids were young. But, lest I have a lapse in my memory, I suppose that's what this ol' blog is for.

Anyway, after we grilled some steaks and fixins, we decided to surprise the boys with a late evening firefly hunt. Oh, how I love the easy-going-ness of summer.

We walked down toward our neighborhood park and positioned ourselves in a grove of trees. While we spotted several fireflies, we were never able to get close enough to catch them. Hindsight is such a humorous thing. It turns out that spraying on gobs of insect repellent before going hunting for bugs is counterproductive. Ya think? We caught exactly zero fireflies. Next time we'll know we must make blood sacrifices and possibly risk the West Nile virus in order to secure such treasures as fireflies. But does anyone disagree it is worth it to have that jar full of lit up bugs at your bedside all night?

Anyway, after our lack of success with fireflies, we did the next best thing and let the boys run down to the playground and have some fun. I just love summer nights with no set schedules and places we have to be in the morning. It was pitch dark by then and Brian and I made our way over to the benches to watch the boys. And, as I ungracefully stretched out my pregnant self on the bench and laid my head in Brian's lap, we watched our offspring do what all puppies, bear cubs and children do best...PLAY.

You know those times where your blood pressure drops and your breathing slows down? I don't mean the kind where you are near death and you see angels flocking overhead, but the kind where everything negative fades away and all you see is the blessing before you. Well, that was tonight. Total contentment.

The boys found a new bug to hunt, June bugs, and gathered up at least 15 of them. We were far enough apart that I couldn't hear every word, but I delighted in their squeals with each new catch and watched their silhouettes run toward us, prizes in fist. Tyler, with his floppy hair, and Noah, with his steady-footed run. They showed us most of the bugs and we pretended to admire every one of them there in the pitch dark. After securing the bugs in the jar, they ran back to the lamp post across the playground and kept up the hunt. At some points, they dug through the pebbles and Tyler did some spontaneous somersaults. Because if there's one thing that makes this kid want to do somersaults, it's catching bugs. He also made a couple of pebble angels, which are similar to snow angels except that it's June and it's Texas and we barely remember what snow looks like by now.

I love watching the boys explore and soak in the wonder of God's creation. Except when it's 95 degrees and I'm swelling and I just want to sit in a dark room with a fan turned on high. Which is why it is a good thing for us to venture out when it's pitch dark. I asked Brian several times what he thought the boys were saying to each other or what he thought they were thinking about. Children are the coolest things. I often wish I could think like they think, just living in the moment and being fascinated by simple things. It filled my heart so much to see them being each other's best friend. Brian mentioned that he's kind of sad Anniston won't know her brothers at this age. By the time she's ready to go exploring for bugs, the boys will probably have moved on to other things, like video games. I wondered if they'd still squeal during bug hunts and RUN full speed to show us their catches at ages seven and nine when she's three. I sure hope so. I don't think I'll still want that for them at ages seventeen and nineteen because that would just be weird, but I could use a few more years of this childlike delight in my life. It's good for my soul.

I doled out a couple of half-hearted warnings that we had just five minutes left before we had to go, but I knew I really didn't mean them even when I spoke them. Someday, I will remember watching my boys catching June bugs under the light of that lamp post and not that they went to bed on time. And how they chased after that rabbit full speed (supersonic speed, as Tyler says) believing they really would catch it. I will, hopefully, remember the smallness of their busy bodies while they squatted low to the ground and dug through the pebbles. I hope I recall the way the lamp light shone down on their hair that remained shiny despite the dust. And how they romped through the unsteady pebbles to get to us. My heart will treasure the way they kept up their excited chatter even though I couldn't hear every word they said. Just watching them being brothers and deepening their best friendhood is enough for me.

And, when we finally did leave, Noah carefully protected the jar of treasures tightly in his arms while Tyler sat tall on his Daddy's shoulders and brushed his hands through every branch we went under. The boys took a shower to get all the pebble dust off and then hung out with me in the living room for awhile. Noah was so busy talking to me about his upcoming birthday (in two months), he didn't notice Brian sneak up until he had him tackled. Of course, Tyler just joined in the dogpile and there were more squeals of delight. And, again, I loved watching my three guys being buddies and deepening their best friendhood.

Although I have to say that wrestling right before bed, it turns out, is also counterproductive.

Doggone hindsight.