Promises Kept

Three times I have been to South Africa.

Three times I had to kiss my babies and my husband goodbye.

Three times my heart felt like it was ripped out as I drove away from the ones I love most.

My first trip, Noah was three and Tyler was one. I went back one year later. My last trip, in January, Noah was five and Tyler was three. Anniston was weeks old inside me and I was excited to know at least one of my children was going with me.

The first time I had to walk into my boys' dark rooms to kiss them goodbye, they stayed asleep. Watching them breath in and out, Noah in his big boy bed and Tyler in his crib, and praying fervent prayers for them before I walked away was one of the hardest things I've done as a Mom. That first trip, Brian held me in the living room as I bawled and said, "I can't do this."

But I did. And they did.

And then I went back for more one year later. That time, the boys stayed overnight at my parents' house since Brian had to work. I left a letter for them to read when they woke, but Tyler woke up before I was able to leave. I remember his small body on my Mom's back as my Dad and I pulled out of the driveway and headed to the airport.

This last trip, by far, was the hardest. Three times is a lot of times to leave your children for ten days and go halfway around the world. This year, they were old enough to know what what happening. Tyler remained asleep in the bottom bunk while Noah stirred the moment I walked in their room. Noah is the hardest sleeper so I knew his anxiety made him easily awakened. Brian held him as friends picked me up to take me to the church. I heard him yell out, "I love you, Mommy!" as I watched him cry in his daddy's arms.

This time, when I got home, I hugged Noah and vowed, "I will never go to South Africa again without you." I surprised myself with that statement because it's pretty bold to say in light of the fact that my plans don't always align with God's. I had a small moment of, "Uhhhh, now what am I going to do if God calls me back and I've also made this promise?"

Well, it turns out that is a worry I no longer have to hold. Because this time, as I go back, I will indeed be going with Noah. And Tyler and Anniston and Brian.

And I will be fulfilling a childhood dream about 30 years early.

Because it looks like we have a move in our very near future.

I'm sure it would take a book to explain how we got to this point (with all my wordiness, it probably feels like you've been reading one!). But what we're sharing today is that we have a very real calling to go to South Africa next year. Likely, late summer. Brian is going on a scouting trip in January to, hopefully, gain some clarity on where we're moving.

Someday I'll try to share the process God took us through to get here. It boils down to this...we opened our hands and released the things we held so tightly to and surrendered. I don't know that I'm bold enough to say we truly surrendered all, but we've surrendered this part of our lives. All to Him, our blessed Savior. While there are so many unknowns, months of training ahead and peace still needed for our families, we have been astounded by the peace God's given us.

Because, along with the promise He's allowing me to keep with Noah, He's made some promises, too.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5,6

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. 1 Thessalonians 5:24

We're so thankful for His promises and to know His plans for us are good.

Jeremiah 29:11