Don't Call It A Comeback, I Been Walking For Years

So I decided to try running today. For years, I've never understood how people love or even enjoy running. Part of the problem could be that I live in Texas and we have this thing called humidity all but 18 days of the year. Part of it could be that pavement is hard on cartilage and I like not being able to feel a storm a brewin' in my knees at the tender age of 31. Whatever the reason, I just have never gotten into running. I do suppose I enjoyed it as a child because if there's anything teaching preschoolers has taught me, it's that kids love to run. Give them a large area and they will run back and forth between two walls. They need nothing else. But they also have boundless energy and I think I lost that around puberty.

That should tell you I've hated running for nearly two thirds of my life. That's a lot of time to hate something.

Today, I decided to forgive running and give it another try. It's too cold to swim, I don't have a gym membership and doing Pilates indoors feels too cooped up when we have all this gorgeous weather I don't want to waste. Brian and I were out on an errand so I had him pull over and drop me off, with no way to change my mind, just the long road ahead to get me home. Some people make their minds up to pursue a goal and that's enough motivation for them. Me? I make my husband ditch me on the side of a busy road, with no cell phone and no change with which to pay a taxi driver.

Is that really motivation or a sentencing? I haven't decided.

As I find housecleaning a lot more motivational when I listen to music, I decided to bring our iPod and see if that helped motivate my legs. (On a side note, why the companies who make ear buds don't go ahead and attach the foam covers themselves is beyond me. Because nothing strips away motivation like spending the first five minutes of your run trying to slip delicate little foam covers onto your earbuds without ripping or dropping them. But, I digress.)

Hip Hop is my preferred genre when trying to self motivate, but anything fast or with a good beat seems to work. I cranked Beyonce, Outkast, Amy Winehouse, Matt and Kim and Bob Marley. I was even tempted to listen to LL Cool J but then I decided it's hard to praise God for His creation when you've got LL in your ears. While he does end Mama Said Knock You Out with props to our Lord, "I gotta thank God 'cuz he gave me the strength to rock," he spends the other 93.8% of the song on "destruction, terror, and mayhem." I also wisely stayed away from Beck's Loser because it makes sense that hearing the phrase, "I'm a loser, baby," over and over does nothing but pyschological damage to someone trying to run 2.25 miles for the first time in her life.

I do, however, wish I'd thought it through better before I played Jordin Sparks' No Air. Because while the girl can sang, the irony of the lyrics was not lost on me. In fact, I felt like my lungs were singing the lyrics back to me...

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

Can't live, can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

There's no air, no air.

And the problem with getting no air is that your muscles start to cramp, you get shin splits, your cheeks feel really hot and the blood rushes to your extremities so that you get splotchy skin. And the problem with those is that they make you want to die. Like the decapitated baby bird I passed on the sidewalk. And, if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I'd hate to experience death at the hand of running.

Brian later told me it was 2.25 miles back to the house. Who knew they built Lake Forest that long? Wish I'd thought to check that before I cheerfully bounded out of the car and committed to all 2.25 of it. Sadly, for us non-runners, 2.25 miles is enough time to create a lot of oxygen sucking and some really committed shin splints. Before you get all complimentary of my accomplishment as a first-time runner taking on that bold a distance, I should confess that I ran about 1/3 of that and spent about 2/3 of it in a cool down walk, switching between the two. Because I read somewhere that cooling down is important. And, if I was going to give 2.25 miles my all, I dang sure wanted to do it right.

I really did give it my best effort, setting goals for myself along the way and trying to keep a positive attitude, like being thankful for the little butterfly that passed by my shin splint-affected pace. Still, I would not conclude that a love of running blossomed. In fact, I still hated it.

But as I turned a final corner and saw my blessed, air conditioned house, my attitude changed. I spotted an elderly couple making their way up the sidewalk. It was a precious, precious sight. The woman held tightly to her walker while her husband walked slowly alongside her, his presence her encouragement and security. I decided to continue my cool down another few blocks so I could watch. I made it across two blocks before they made it down half of one. As I watched, I found my way over to Chris Tomlin music and prayed for the couple. No longer was my attention on my screaming shin splints or my burning cheeks. Reality has a way of making you check yourself. While the old woman struggled to make her way down half a block, I had something new to be thankful for.

I could run. I can run. Maybe I can even learn to love to run.

As I turned homeward, I turned off the iPod and decided to listen to the music present in nature. I heard the wind as it passed over my ears, the birds chirping their songs and the leaves rustling as I passed under them. I took deep breaths (because I could finally breathe again) and felt my heart quiet.

I can't say that I decided to love running today, but at least I know I can appreciate it. And maybe I'll give it another shot next week.

When I can walk again.