What Dreams May Come

The other night, I dreamed I was teaching some kids to swim when a lightning storm happened upon us very suddenly. I cleared the kids out of the water before anything happened, but watched in horror as they got back in the water. Why?! I don't know. They were kids. And, also, that is why it is called a nightmare. Somehow, I cleared the water again mere seconds before lightning struck the pool but I managed to do a lot of freaking out before I could convince them to get out.

We were safe until a lion began stalking us outside the pool fence. CLEARLY, we weren't in Texas anymore. We managed to run into some kind of dinky little shack with multiple rooms. Once again, I did a lot of freaking out before we could get there.

And, again, we were safe...until two panthers began hunting us down within the shack. And guess what I did a lot of...again.

Last night, I dreamed I was being chased by velociraptors and oviraptors. It was truly a scene from Jurassic Park, except no one was around to yell, "Cut!" when the scene was shot. Then, I was in a different dream where I had a "death scorpion" in my house and I had to kill it. Only it jumped around like a cricket and had a shell that was impossible to crush.

What in the world.

I do not like those "we were safe until" dreams. They do not leave me feeling like I got the good sleep.

I had some crazy dreams early in this pregnancy and I can handle absurd dreams. I want them back after that night of lightning, lions and panthers, oh my! Give me lunacy but don't give me death.

The first crazy dream I can remember is a ski trip gone awry. I mean, if vampires descending on your mountain-side cabin can be considered going awry. To me, it can. I had a cozy little rental and they would just ski right down into it. The only way to cure them was to plunge a syringe into their chest and extract purple fluid. You try doing that 114 times and see if you feel like hitting the bunny slopes anymore.

Another night, I dreamed I rode a small red carpet low over the ocean from my flat in the UK (?) to the village I visited in South Africa in January. I could use a flashlight to see some of the little friends we made. Why I was flying around at night is beyond me, but, it didn't seem to freak anyone else out too much. Because an Asian girl flying around on a carpet and checking you out in the middle of the night is totally normal.

Then there was the dream where I was pregnant and talking to neighbors when Baby E suddenly pointed and I could see a perfectly shaped baby finger poking up under my skin. It didn't penetrate my skin, but I could see every little detail of her finger. My dream was so vivid, I could even see that her fingernail was painted pink. Then I saw an entire fist emerge. It was like my skin was putty. All along, though, it was very normal to all involved. Just another friendly conversation with the neighbors while my fetus pumps a shout-out to the Black Panthers.

The militant ones, not the ones chasing me through a shack.

Anyway, it is scary what my brain cooks up when it thinks I'm not looking.

The upside is that every night has turned into an adventure. Brian has always teased me for having dreams that were much more elaborate than his. He can dream about a circle all night and that's it for him. Comparatively, my circle would have purple hair and be bouncing through hoops. On pregnancy hormones, though, that purple-haired circle would be me and I'd be eating Apple Jacks in skim milk while knitting a sweater with lime green yarn and giving Jeff Probst a high five on some deserted island where there are characters called The Others and The Smoke Monster. Only that is where it gets creepy again and I just want go back to my Apple Jacks. The only problem is, I'm a pregnant purple-haired circle whose only form of weaponry is knitting needles. I cannot wrestle The Others because skim milk does not bulk you up. I cannot seem to escape my pending doom. All I can do is run into shacks and hope all forms of wildlife, extinct dinosaurs and vampires stay outdoors.

Lucky for me, there's a good chance I still have that little flying carpet somewhere around here.